in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
