I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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