so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
