babies were throwing up all over the place
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
