I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
