Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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