16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
