i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
