I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
