and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
