i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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