just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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