I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
