she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
