just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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