My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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