Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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