Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
