so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
