Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
