she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
