really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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