She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
