is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I party with great urgency now.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
