Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
