I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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