best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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