my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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