So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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