If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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