can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
