Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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