Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
