I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
