He told me they were just razor bumps!
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
