need another drink. this is the easiest way
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
