JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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