My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
