I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
