id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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