I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
