that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
