We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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