Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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