also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize