piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
