Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
