I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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