Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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