3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize