ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
