me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
