Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
