If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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