she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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