Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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