I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
