I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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