Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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