youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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