i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize