My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
