I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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