whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
